End the duopoly

Can You Tell These Rich Political Sons Apart?

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Whose papa is whose?

Take a minute and look at this picture. Sit quietly with it. Allow your eyes to wander over these gleaming grins, these slicked-back coifs, these smooth foreheads unlined by the pressures of economic instability.

Got a good look? Okay, now ask yourself, honestly: Can you tell these three men apart?

Yes, what seems at first to be a picture of one polo-pony collector at several different hedge-fund networking events is in fact a picture of three different large adult political sons. From left to right: Wyatt Koch, of the conservative billionaire dark lord Kochs; Andrew Giuliani, of the screaming Giulianis; and Eric, Donald Trump’s blond offspring.

Do you really need to know who these guys are? Realistically, no. Although their fathers are influential political figures who have consistently worked to undermine American democracy, the boys mostly just sit around and play with all of their inherited wealth. But say one thing leads to another, and you find yourself at a gold-brick juggling party, or a yacht rave, or some other event full of beneficiaries of low estate-tax rates, you don’t want to make a gaffe and accidentally ask Wyatt about his White House gig, or Eric about his shirt designs. Not only would it be awkward, you’d run the risk of having gold bricks throws at you, or being tossed into the sea. Given that, we’ve created a handy guide for telling these big political sons apart.

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